28/06/2023
(No Reply) This came once as a shock When I had lowered my jocks No three ply And on this aging butt And deep within the rut I’ll use No other tissue I called the wife I called the wife It’s up that you must hop And go down to the shops Post haste There was nothing I could do My butt was streaked with doo No three ply I was waiting gratefully For you to walk in So patiently I nearly cried I nearly cried I never had a doubt That we would ever run out Of paper If I was her, I'd realize that I Am hoping that nothing goes awry If another brand she buys and I Yes I hope that she bring me home three ply She finally came home She thought she was alone No three ply 'Cause I know what she’s like Her mem'ries taken a hike Like before I simply cried I simply cried Because I’ll have to clean With this magazine In its place No three ply No three ply
(I'm A Loser) I'm a wowser I’m a wowser And it’s all that I appear be Everything annoys me now I’m eighty-three and playing on that party scene is not for me So if you have A party and you play too loud I’ll just call the fun police and have it shut down I'm a wowser That’s what happens when you’re eighty-three I’m a wowser And it’s all that I appear to be Although I laugh and I act like a clown Too much fun and I’m shutting you down Too much wine, or song you’ll hear from me What else can you do when you’re eighty-three. I'm a wowser That’s what happens when you’re eighty-three I'm a wowser And it’s all that I appear to be What have I done to deserve such a fate? I realize I have left it too late And so no matter how large or how small I'm warning you so that you won't lose all I'm a wowser That’s what happens when you’re eighty-three I'm a wowser And it’s all that I appear to be
(Eight Days a Week) Ooh I need those drugs babe, Guess you know it's true. You know I need my drugs babe, To get a Pfizer hue Buspar, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac Ain't got nothin' but drugs babe, Eight meds a day.. Need them ev'ry day girl, Always on my mind. One thing I can say girl, Need drugs all the time. Buspar, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac Ain't got nothin' but drugs babe, Eight meds a day.. Eight meds a day I chug them. Eight meds a day You know how much I need them there. Ooh I need those drugs babe, ... Eight meds a day ... Need them ev'ry ... Eight meds a day, Eight meds a day, Eight meds a day
(Rock and Roll Music) Just let me hear some of that elevator muzak At my age, helps me snooze out And if you hear it, you won’t lose out It’ll never blow a fuse out All I want is elevator muzac Going up a lift with me Going up a lift with me I have no kick against AOR Unless they try to take it too damn far And change the beauty of the melody Until it sounds like a cacophony Just let me hear some of that elevator muzak At my age, helps me snooze out And if you hear it, you won’t lose out It’ll never blow a fuse out All I want is elevator muzak Going up a lift with me Going up a lift with me You know what that music really lacks And that’s the sound of a-whalin' sax I must admit they could use Kenny G. Man that would really fill my world with glee Just let me hear some of that elevator muzak At my age, helps me snooze out And if you hear it, you won’t lose out It’ll never blow a fuse out All I want is elevator muzak Going up a lift with me Going up a lift with me That muzak sounds just like a jubilee It really sets my spirits free And when I pushed the button for the thirteenth floor Then I heard Queen in a symphonic score Just let me hear some of that elevator muzak At my age, helps me snooze out And if you hear it, you won’t lose out It’ll never blow a fuse out All I want is elevator muzac Going up a lift with me Going up a lift with me I started to panic, I didn’t know what to do Then I heard Paul Mauriott ‘s ‘Love is Blue' It was so calming, I’ll give you the hunch It keeps me young and so in touch Just let me hear some of that elevator muzak At my age, helps me snooze out And if you hear it, you won’t lose out It’ll never blow a fuse out All I want is elevator muzak Going up a lift with me Going up a lift with me